Sequestered Conclusions

Finally, I can behave badly without fear of your disapproving stare.

Finally, I can go where I want to go, do what I want to do, see who I want to see,
without the threat of it ending in a fight where you slam doors and I drink too much and go for a stagger down the alley and curse your name to the twinkling onlookers above.

I can finally eat what I want and leave the dishes in the sink for too long.
I can kick my socks off under the cover while Im sleeping.
I can wear my button ups to the top button without you accusing me of cheeseball tendencies.
I can roam the world without you telling me not to go out alone and being worried that I’ll be in danger or worse, that I’ll meet someone I like more than you.

Finally, I can do all these things and more. All these little battles I fought so hard against you for. But I haven’t won anything at all, really.

Because finally, all these hollow freedoms, I wish I could trade back in
for the one thing I’ve lost that can never be mine again.

Finally, I’m not afraid to miss your face, because it’s already faded.
I’m no longer afraid to lose you, because you’ve already gone.

I’ve been set free.

But though the chains have long since been broken, my blood is still pumped by an incarcerated heart.

These are my sequestered conclusions. Inglorious victories won in the carnage of love.

Conquerers

Forget what they told you. Love does not conquer all. They were most likely confused with lust, power, greed, envy, pride, contempt, faithlessness and any other rotten fruits of the spirit you can think of.

The Streets of Kowloon City

all is silent on the streets of Kowloon city, save for the dutiful click of a street light and the occasional taxi roar.

apparently it is 3am, though Circadia is telling me it is afternoon, the current time of the place I call home.

i am sitting on the curb near my hotel, alone, watching Hong Kong sleepily breath around me.

In the dead of night, i do not feel any threat to my person, and strangely, others roaming in the moonlight do not seem to either. No hurried strides or dicey glances to be seen in the several young women who’ve passed me by.

the smoldering heat of the day has dulled to an emphatic, pulse of warmth and wind

i watch gentlemen’s socks and lady trousers softly dance in the breeze floating by clothes lines, hung from the open windows of aged high rise apartments that disappear into the clouds.

perhaps a distant cousin of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg stares back at me from the signage of a beauty parlor across the street. It is observant and inconspicuous, like me. apart of the still and calm, quietly keeping watch over passersby. All seeing, all knowing.

though I may not be as discreet as supposed, as i notice an onlooker propped into an apartment window, peering down at me. An almost uncomfortable stare is exchanged, and I nod my head in greetings. No acknowledgement is returned, though he takes a long drag of a cigarette, exhales into the night sky, and gives me a tiny curl of a smile before disappearing back into the shadows.

his brief appearance intrigues my curiosity… I now wonder what hidden vibrance may lay behind these tiny apartment windows, glimpses into the authentic life of Hong Kong.

surveying the quiet mystery around me, I stay here for awhile. Hoping to soak up this moment for later reverie.

all is silent on the streets of Kowloon city, save for the dutiful click of a street light and the occasional taxi roar.

photo: Marlee Archer

Hypothetically, Of Course

Titillated and tantalized by your innate ability to hypnotize.
Love Jonesing and heart-beaten pandemonium does far from describe

The chaotic delight I feel when trapped in your eyes.
With you I feel I can lay down my guise,
dropping my mask and letting my fears subside.

June bugs, butterflies, a multitude of insects they do fly,
when your caress contacts the context of my spine or inner thighs.

I like you not just for the physical aspect like your cute nose and pearly smile.
But for your intrinsically stunning elements of which span so wide.

Inspired by euphoria, a new scheme I’ll artfully comprise.
Because on this cupid-struck, harp-spun connection I must capitalize.

My ultimate goal I know I’ll reach in time,
A way to keep you forever blissfully enamored, by my side.

Masterpiece

New blogger to the scene, isn’t she brilliant? Her first post is beautiful, and I’m sure there is more where that came from 🙂 make sure you follow her blog!

Nayazha Coleman

My artist, creating striking scenes.

Hands, eyes, and lips are your tools;

Passion is your medium.

Thoughts scatter my brain

Like splatter paint.

Gray like the shade of doubt.

You’re on the tip of my tongue

But I can’t quite get you out.

From a faint hum to a tribal drum,

Our heartbeats sync as our souls align

Like the stars that style Orion.

I can feel your whisper against the nape of my neck,

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;

Doubt that the sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love.”*

Our ecstasy smolders

And continues to burn into bliss.

Incense smoke is seeping inside our nostrils.

Shivers shimmy down our spines, night rain

Dripping blue blood through my veins.

The norm is feeling numb, novacane.

Let our bodies paint our story.

* William Shakespeare’s Hamlet

Image: Orin Zebest https://flic.kr/p/7G5733

View original post

Encroached Divinity

Oh, mama if you could see me now.

Blistered hands and soiled feet.

I keep backsliding down this one-way street,

But with eyes shielded and appearance neat.

I fear the unknown so I make the unknown familiar to me.

That’s why I let the smoldering ashes graze my cheek

And fly to close to burning suns.

Icarus drew to close to the light of the world and fell back to the ocean’s reproach

But to feel a singe of the supreme—to be scorched by the pure, to be acknowledged by the fundament— for mere seconds must have been worth the fall.

The feeling felt foreign,

But there was something in the glowing beacon of brown irises that called to me.

Like the winged god to his flame,

I had no choice, the urge had already made its claim.

And for an elated glimpse in a lifetime, whose remnants will last for such, I was that man flying high,

closer to the heat, closer to the ideal that countless lovers die dreaming of and hoping for.

So breathtaking that the tragic brevity was worth it all.

And now I take up a reinvigorated desperation to force the unknown to be familiar,

Out of terror that my luck will reach its posterior,

And reality will expose me as nothing more than a pawn daring with its last move …

before the inevitable fate of its predecessors.

Tired eyes and tempting thoughts of retreat,

I keep pumping the air back into my hearth to keep my spirit alive.

Oh mama, if you could see me now….

Daddy, if you could just see me.

I am flying high, searching for that fire again– Once found in another–but this time, in hopes of finding the light inside of me.

Just Reflecting

I am not an option, I am an ultimatum.
I am not a pit stop, I am the destination…

* * *

Exhumed

Breaking
Breaching
Deliberate misguidance.
As I am lost,
I am found.
As I wander,
I am discovered.
As I slip away,
I return to that which has been tucked beneath years of constructed individuation in hopes of acceptance and love.
As I roam the shadows, the buried parts of me,
I come closer to the light,
placing distance between my heart and fear.
And as I am further displaced from everything I’ve ever known,
I feel closer to home than I ever have.

Daily, I come closer to soulful exhumation.

Visions of Perception

I called it honeysuckle. You called it sweet.
I called it foreplay. You called it speech.
I called it distant. You called it cold.
I called it pain. You called it old.
I called it dancing. You called it stares.
I called it drama. You called it air.
I called it existing. You called it rare.
I called it fear. You called it care.
I called it mysterious. You called it baiting.
I called it wanting. You called it waiting. I called it chance. You called it fate.
Only the clock’s tick will tell.
Till then let’s enjoy the wait.

Dreaming of You

I went to bed sober. And I woke up drunk.
Induced a state of inebriating elation by dreaming of the possibilities of us.